I'm home from church again today. I really hate missing church--it always makes me feel a little out of it--like my week isn't finished. I decided to go online for some inspiration and watched this video for the youth called A Brand New Year 2010.
Even though I'm 27, I still feel a bit like a youth. I watched this and felt like it was for me! Perhaps no matter how old we get, we still feel like a youth inside. I think that's how it works...that's probably why getting older is kinda hard. Because your outside stops matching how you feel on the inside. I'm still learning so much and growing so much with the gospel. I am definitely a different person than I was when I was a teenager, but I look back at myself then and think, "I really wish you knew how much more you can be." I often just muddled through things, and made lots of mistakes, and had some trials...but, if I had just seen myself the way Heavenly Father sees me, and the way I see myself now, I know I could have spared myself a lot of heartache. I look back at myself as a teen, and I wish I could have been my own coach--cheering me on through the ups and downs, giving myself hugs and lifting me up. It all sounds sort of silly, maybe. But I remember so well how I felt back then, and I just know it is nothing short of a miracle that I am where I am today. Yes, I had people rallying around me at that time--my sisters, my mom and dad, my church leaders. But at the time I was so short-sighted in alot of ways. Now, I feel the love of Heavenly Father in my life in so many ways. I am so grateful for the paths I've been led down. Even now, with this crazy MRSA stuff, I know someday I will look back on myself and again wish with all my heart that I could just hug myself and say "Don't worry, you'll get through this--and it will only get better!" And I can say that confidently, because I know that's what Heavenly Father wants to do for each of us when we are in a hard time--give us a hug and say "Hang on, be strong--someday this will pass, and everything will be better."
3 comments:
That is so true Steph. I have felt the same way at times. We just need to take a broader look sometimes and realize that certain things really aren't that big of a deal and that we can go through anything and we're going to be okay. In the long run, we're going to be okay, and Heavenly Father is always there with us cheering us on just as we are for our children. Thanks for the inspirational thoughts Stephanie! :)
Aww, Stephanie... I had so much to catch up on with your blog! I wish I was there to give you a hug & tell you that it's all going to be OK. :) You are such a sweetheart, and your attitude is inspiring. It will definitely all work out, so keep your chin up! :) Keep us posted!
This is the journal entry that I have been meaning to write for the last couple years and haven't gotten around to it! I think about this ALL the time. At church I stare at the yw girls and just want to shake them and make them realize all this, that I didn't when I was their age! Its all part of the plan I'm sure, but its hard, at least for me, to not look back and wish....
You are amazing Steph, thanks for writing this!
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