My train of thoughts...

So this morning I woke up early to go drive the hour over to my dear ol' alma mater Wright State University to turn in some graduation paperwork. Since Aaron was home sick from work, and both the boys are also sick, I went alone. Being alone in the car is a rarity for me and gave me some rather interesting "thinking" time. I was thinking how interesting a road my life has been. When I was in high school, senior year, I went to Edison Community College full time. This was mainly to get a head start in college, and also mainly to escape my previous horrible year of dating a real "DUD" (to put it lightly). SO, I enjoyed the perks of college life--like a more flexible schedule and new friends, and taking some classes with my sis Amelia. In one of our classes, Biology to be exact, Amelia and I befriended this boy, Noah, who looked like he was trying to be a pop star or something. We'd always tease him about wearing handkerchiefs on his head...but for some reason he liked us and was our buddy that year. I'd hang out with him during my lunch break and we had fun talking--and he'd always bemoan to me his relationship issues and question me about my "strict" mormon life. Fast forward to the end of the year, I had a pretty good idea I was going to go to BYU. That's what both my older sisters did, so I supposed that's what I would do, too. I was kind of a procrastinator and didn't apply for any other schools. I knew I would get in--I had a great GPA and ACT score. BUT, what to my surprise happened? Both my bishop AND a member of the stake presidency told me that they felt very strongly that they shouldn't sign my ecclesiastical interview page. I was very shocked and...confused. I knew I wasn't perfect, but I felt worthy to go and was sure that I had always tried to repent of anything I had done--so I didn't know what was keeping them from signing! After hours of crying, and many meetings with the Stake president and bishop and his counselor, and my family, they still stood by their feelings. I felt heart broken, embarrassed and I suddenly had no other choice--I had to look into going to another college...and FAST, I had missed every other deadline. So I looked locally--thus, I applied and was accepted to WSU. Luckily, they had a music program and I was accepted into it. Although I felt like I was getting "shafted" in a major way by not getting to go to BYU, I tried to have a good attitude about it. I just kept thinking "WELL, there HAS to be a good reason why I wasn't supposed to go to BYU." My entire time at WSU was spent trying to figure out WHAT that reason was.
After a year in the music program at WSU, I reapplied to BYU, and this time I was accepted without any problems...except, now I really loved my voice teacher at Wright State--Mrs. Smith. She was the kind of teacher that challenges you beyond your preconceived abilities, but inspires you to want to keep going! She was the best voice teacher I have ever met. She was like a walking music history, foreign language, anatomy, vocal diction, and vocal technique dictionary! I felt really special having her get excited about my voice. After all my heartache and regrets, I decided that maybe the reason why I was supposed to be at WSU was because that's where Mrs. Smith was! So I decided to stay.

Fast forward another year, I was in my junior year now, and I remember very clearly the day that my college life was changing again. Mrs. Smith was teaching my french diction class, and she came in and told us that she was retiring suddenly. She had recently found out that she had a form of leukemia that was making her really sick. Everything happened very quickly after that--a few of us helped her move out her office, and get settled at home. In a few days I had a new voice teacher--a younger guy, who I felt could NEVER compare to my Mrs. Smith! I was again heart-broken at the way things were turning out! But, college was busy, and I had to keep up with that. I continued to stay in touch with Mrs. Smith--but less and less.
Then, that November 2003, my junior year, I randomly got an email from a guy I never met who said he knew my old friend from Edison--Noah. Noah had met Aaron at OSU and had told him to email me because I was the only other Mormon he'd ever met--and I was pretty HOT. haha. This guy turned out to be MY Aaron, and yet again I had a really strong feeling that there DEFINITELY was a reason why I was meant to stay in OHIO. About ten months later I married Aaron and started my senior year at WSU.

SO, I'm probably boring everyone with this long story--but I will get to the point. AS I was at WSU today I just started looking around at the humble campus, and remembering how uncertain I felt going there, and how suddenly doors were opening to me that I never thought possible. I had two incredible years studying with one of the best voice teachers around, I had many missionary experiences, had many performance opportunities that I probably wouldn't have had at a larger music school, and ultimately I met Aaron--who changed my life forever.

Today I found out that Mrs. Smith passed away about a year ago. No one knew to tell me, but I really would have liked to go to her funeral. I wish I could have told her daughters how much she mattered to me. I would never have stayed at WSU if it wasn't for her. I may have a totally different life now...I look at my sweet boys and wonder, "how would my life have changed if I hadn't stuck around to meet Aaron??"

It just goes to show... sometimes Heavenly Father uses strange ways to point us in the right direction.